Why Your Child Understands Punjabi But Won’t Speak It (And What Actually Helps)

You speak to your child in Punjabi. They answer in English.

You know they understood every word. You watched them do exactly what you asked. But when it’s their turn to talk, English comes out instead.

If this is happening at your dinner table, you are not doing anything wrong, and your child has not lost the language. There is actually a name for this stage, and understanding it changes how you respond to it.

It’s called receptive bilingualism, and it’s more common than you think

Researchers call this receptive bilingualism: a child understands a language fully but struggles to produce it. It shows up constantly in immigrant and heritage-language households, not just Punjabi ones. Kids raised on Spanish, Mandarin, Tagalog, Gujarati, all report the same pattern from their parents.

Here’s the part that helps most: understanding and speaking are not the same skill, and they don’t grow at the same speed. Every one of us has a bigger passive vocabulary (words we recognize) than active vocabulary (words we can pull out on command). In a heritage language that only gets spoken at home, that gap widens. The words are in there. Your child just hasn’t had enough reps pulling them back out.

There’s a second piece too. Around school age, kids start weighing which language feels “safe” to speak out loud, especially in front of peers or even family. A child who worries about mixing up a verb tense or getting an accent wrong will often default to whichever language feels lower risk. That’s not defiance. That’s a very normal, very human response to feeling put on the spot.

Three things that actually move a child from understanding to speaking

1. Lower the stakes before you raise the bar.

Trying to get a full sentence out of a child who’s scared of getting it wrong usually backfires. Start with one-word answers, choices (“Roti khaani ai ke chawal?”), or fill-in-the-blank prompts. Small wins build the confidence that leads to full sentences later.

2. Give them a reason to speak it that isn’t you.

Kids often talk more in a heritage language with peers, a sibling, or a teacher than with parents, simply because there’s less emotional weight attached. This is a big part of why structured, teacher-led practice outside the home works so well. It’s the one place a child can try, get it wrong, and try again without an audience of family watching.

3. Keep exposure frequent, not perfect.

Consistency beats intensity. Five short minutes of speaking practice most days does more than one long, pressured conversation on a Sunday. The goal is normalizing the language as something spoken often and casually, not something reserved for big moments.

The one thing not to do

Don’t correct every mistake the moment it happens. It’s the fastest way to make a child stop trying altogether. Let them finish the thought, then model the correct version back naturally, the same way you would if they mispronounced an English word.

Your child hasn’t lost Punjabi. They just need somewhere low-pressure to practice using it.

That’s exactly the gap Galabata was built for. Our classes give kids a judgment-free space, outside the family dynamic, to actually speak, stumble, and try again with a teacher who’s there to help, not to grade.

If your child understands more Punjabi than they let on, this might be the missing piece.